the book of evelyn

a thousand opinions would still be too few.

thebookofevelyn — Thu, 18 Mar 2010 22:33:18 +0000

my mother, A and i recently went to nougatine + enjoyed it. with rave reviews, we recommended it to my father. apparently strangers’ opinions matter more.

subject: some one named Sharon did not like her meal at Noougatine*

body: what do you think of her review?

http://maps.google.com/maps/place?hl=en&source=hp&oq=&gs_rfai=&um=1&ie=UTF-8&q=nougatine&fb=1&gl=us&hq=nougatine&hnear=New+York,+NY&cid=14313268200859985662&dtab=2&pcsi=14313268200859985662,1&ei=ONGgS9HVJIbSM4zDpLAM&sa=X&oi=local_result&ct=result&resnum=1&ved=0CAoQqgUwAA

*all spelling + grammatical errors are representative of the initial e-mail

bored papa

thebookofevelyn — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 15:18:42 +0000

whenever my father goes to a birthday of my mother’s friend, he’s terribly bored. the crowd is typically all russian-speaking, the food all russian and the entertainment – you guessed it: russian too. born in pennsylvania, he tries to fit in but instead zones out. thanks to apple! he can now send me photos as often as he likes in order to ease his boredom. here’s a sampling from last night’s

google voice

thebookofevelyn — Sun, 07 Mar 2010 15:14:24 +0000

my dad’s best friend, D, left him this VM :
hello, it’s me. just calling you back. i was at the range, i wasn’t able to answer your phone call. bye bye

which google voice translated as:
hello, it’s, maybe just calling you back. i was looking rentals mammograms your couple bye bye.

- – - – they thought it’d be fun to explore this word sequence – - – -

new VM:

i was looking rental mamagrams, your couple. bye bye

and translation:

i was looking rental, my, my question. your couple 55.

ah. google fail.

they love that dog

thebookofevelyn — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 15:53:42 +0000

subject: about as gross as gross could be

body: I asked Mom not to put Dog’s blue poop bags in the trash can outside, but she forgot, and a few of the bags stuck to the bottom of the trash can, then leaked out,so I just spent the past 20 some minutes cleaning the outside trash can and trying to get rid of the poop smell

- – - – although he’s a physician, he’s easily disgusted. i replied “sorry” – - – - -

response: it’s not your fault, it’s just that the first time she did it and the bags stuck to the bottom I asked her not to do it again, but she went and did it again, I’m not blaming her (well I guess I am) I’m just cold and tired

drama!

thebookofevelyn — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 19:04:25 +0000

my little brother is headed to asia for 2 weeks with his company <3 countries in 13 days and he thinks it’s a long trip> because my father is a doctor, my brother asked him which immunizations he’d had my brother has previously had, among others, the tetanus shot. he was given it again – as precaution, despite his having told his colleagues that he’d had it. when my father got wind of this he was enraged “tetanus! when i got that shot, i had a fever of 125!” his energy and turmoil is exhausting. ”i told them you had it! why would they give it to you?!” as my brother offers an explanation on the other end of the phone, my father replies “well that was over 25 years ago, it has different elements now – what caused that isn’t in the composite anymore”

award in dramatization.

still confused

thebookofevelyn — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 21:51:39 +0000

remember the $600 e-mail?

i replied that i was confused

- – - – - -

he replied:

$ 600 dinner, sorry left out the link to the $ 600 dinner

http://www.dartagnan.com/c6140/The-Gascons-Are-Coming.html

- – - – - -

still confused. expressed such in an e-mail; prompting the same e-mail reworded

- – - – - -

subject: who’s in the mood for a $ 600 dinner?

body: http://www.dartagnan.com/54746/582892/Gifts-100/DArtagnans-32–Star-Progressive-Dinner.html

- – - – - -

i guess my father is impressed with the price tag – but i don’t find it shocking; i live in new york.

thanks but no thanks

thebookofevelyn — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 15:57:58 +0000

subject: grandma

body: I spent a full hour trying to get grandma connected to her e mail, I knew I was almost there when I asked her doesn’t it say anywhere to click here for e mail and she said. Yes, It says click here to check comcast e mail, but I don’t want to check their e mail I want to check mine” – at that hour it was time for me to hang up and have my piano lesson. When I later called me back she said she finally figured out how to do it, but she needed to run an errand, but she did find your e mail, but wasn’t sure how to open the attachment – she said she would call you and if I thought if she found her way to your e mail, maybe you could walk her thru opening the attachment

- – - -

i had asked my father to walk my grandmother through opening her e-mail so that she would be candid telling him what she thought of the attachments i sent. it didn’t occur to him to also be on the computer while he navigated. i guess they are both geris.

surprisingly naive

thebookofevelyn — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 15:49:11 +0000

my brother shared this e-mail from my father to him, remarkable to think with a son working at google he wouldn’t know how very fake this is.

subject: I got this test probably from google

body:

What do I go with it
“?FRM:verify@pinger.com
MSG:Welcome to Textfree! Your verification code is SUISKX. Enter it in
the Code field on your iPhone or iPod Touch. Do not reply.”

i feel confused. what does this mean?

thebookofevelyn — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 16:01:51 +0000

subject: $ 600 dinner

body: D’Artagnan celebrates its 25th anniversary with a $ 600 dinner in NYC

because liking rock music is the same as broadway adaptation

thebookofevelyn — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 14:03:04 +0000

subject: do you like Green Day

body: American express is offering presale tickets to Green Day’s American Idiot, new broadway musical featuring all the songs on their album

- – - – - -

this belongs in postcards from yo momma